April 2024 Evanston Living (BVM)

Duality

In print

It is said that it is in childhood that you learn the most you ever will. All of the learning is stored. The language to describe feelings and experiences take on a ‘dualistic’ nature and helps in letting everyone know where you are at with life, one day at a time as a child. Hot or cold are how one describes touching a hot water or ice cubes. Your taste buds will follow up with a facial expression when you eat a sour gummy bear or a sweet wafer.  Your eyes will let you know if you see a male or female body and your ears can discern the voice of either for the most part. All your senses are engaged and your body will let you know what it is comfortable with through the many emotions it comes with. An interaction with another can make you laugh or cry; sleep or awaken, and this can help you gauge how to have a parent respond to you. As time goes on those inner senses usually get fine-tuned and you have a wider range of descriptive terms to express to show where you are in relationship to others and you may let go of what you learned as a child around ‘right’ -‘wrong;’ ‘this’ or ‘that;’ ‘correct’ or ‘incorrect’ and so on.  You may expand to your choice of which end of the dichotomy you want to spend your time. Why? Because you can.

We live in a world of dichotomies and it is a major way of learning and growing as human beings. In our differences we are enriched by coming across someone who is different from us. Our earth home shows us we cannot really know what a cold climate really is like if we have always lived in a warm one. The desert like earth energy of Albuquerque moves differently in one’s feet then the mountainous earth energy when walking on a trail in Boulder. Rainy weather in Seattle can be overwhelming for the residents but they are reminded that perhaps rain is better than the experience of winter in Chicago!  Those in Chicago may be curious about the beauty of cactus plants in Tucson but really prefer not spend a majority of their time being indoors as it is very hot during the day. If we were to take this a step further, the interactions with people in climates is contrasting. It is really funny hearing about the ‘types’ of personalities on the east coast or the west or the Midwest.  One big dichotomy, male – female, dictates our experience of life in a huge way from the start of birth to end.  Yet another example is spirit and body. We have a higher consciousness that expresses itself in the physical. Love, creativity, joy are expressions of that. As a baby you exuded radiance and light. That radiance is still there.

This writing is a designed to assist in opening up your awareness to consciously appreciate yourself and bring gentleness in your experience of life. Being at one end of the dichotomy is not always fun, especially if you feel like you have the ‘short end of the stick.’ It can be intense. The way out of it is to honor the past and look for the middle ground and make peace. Then seek out the other end in baby steps. If you are unhappy, what activities can you engage in to generate happiness? If you are angry, how can you start to laugh? If you are a drama queen or king, are you open to allowing the quiet into your experience of life?

Amusement is the bridge to change. Be fearless and find amusement with yourself.

March 2024 Evanston Living (BVM)

Renewal

In print

Coming out of winter is a celebrated moment as we get to shift out of cozy indoor warm to fresh air of the outdoors. It is like coming out of ‘dreaminess’ into the waking reality of engaging nature. The want to stretch, open up, and move comes naturally. You may even notice your expanding awareness as you take in spring and all the things you can do! There is a lightness from taking off the layers that permeates our minds and we are reminded that our thoughts can be light and positive. Spiritually, the inner voice speaks a little louder into our intuition and reminds us that it’s time to see things with a fresh and present time perspective.

              We are quite aware that this winter may have been a little surreal with the change in climate. There is a mixture of green and brown grass and no one is complaining about the temperature in these immediate surroundings.  It has been okay to allow putting on those tennis shoes go on a run in winter and let the feet fearlessly lead the way. Our eyes start to adjust to more people being outdoors, and a sense of our body’s systems revitalizing settles in. And yes, we wonder if spring clothes will be comfortable.  Our bodies, kind of like the seasons of the earth, change and that is its nature. Our ears may take a little time to adjust to the noise in the world. External seeing and hearing may be at odds with one another and the solution is to align inner sight and inner voice to each other - right inside of ourselves.  The realigning allows us to resolve conflict with some ease and makes it possible to be a part of life more fully.

Did you know that our ‘inner eyes’ play a huge role in self-healing? Even as our mind does the very best it can, it still can’t see the big picture as it is constantly processing information. Our seeing can shift a stuck perspective in an instant.  An example of this is enjoying seeing the super bowl and then hearing about the aftermath of the game and short lived celebration.   “What happened?” asks our mental body. We are left with our personal power for a graceful move out of staying stuck into healing. A very good way is out of stuckness is to take in the beauty of the earth.  Our visual awareness can soften up the tension in our whole being and letting go becomes easier.

Play is our nature. We can bring healing to ourselves on a cellular level by listening to calm music or whatever your choice of sound is. We can enjoy watching the innocence of our pets and rekindle unconditional love. We can watch a comedy and bring ease to our minds and let go of how seriously we have taken ourselves. If you would like to be more in your flow of reimagining parts of your life in the next few months, allow yourself to be in the calm.

Insight flows more fully when you are in no rush. But we already know that! So, what can we do to be part of the renewal today? Here are some recommendations.

              . Place yourself in quiet, longer than what you usually allow yourself.

              . Get in touch with gratitude and appreciation for anything and everything.

              . Explore a new self-image as change and growth is inevitable.

              . Visit a decadent restaurant or visit an earthy cabin in the woods.

. Sit by the lake.

              . Reflect on what is fun for you.

. Listen to your body and set a new wellness plan.

  . Let go of winter

              . Practice gentle closure with things that keep you stuck as it allows you to move on.

              . Hold compassion for those in adverse weather conditions.

              . Look at your surroundings with new eyes no matter the opinions of others.

              We are only limited by our imagination. Use it to create your reality.

February 2024 Evanston Living (BVM)

Self Care by Zubin

(in print)

In this busy world we have forgotten how to bring ourselves back from all our wonderful projects, passionate drama, amazing memories, social media and more. It is easy to forget we created all this to begin with. The space within and immediately around our body can be perceived as personal space. It is in here where health, balance, self -nurturing, imaginative solutions, and fun exist abundantly. There are different kinds of spaces in our lives. Here is a new concept of space and exploring it in your everyday life.

Stress shows up in some part of our body as a sign to draw your attention inward, to your personal space. If it were an upset tummy, it is a call to bring some release and comfort to the area.  The following effortless exercise takes just 2 minutes. You will find that this creates separation between your body and everything else around you. If you have access to a chair, sit down, close your eyes and notice your breath. Place your feet on the ground, and let your bottom connect into the earth. Breathe as you do this. Let the external world be where it is and bring your awareness to the space in and around you. You can a place your attention in the center of your head, letting it rest gently, if you want. Place your hand on your tummy if you would like. Adjust into your connection beneath you open your eyes after a minute or two. Move on to the next thing.

We live and learn through all the spaces in our lives. There is the relationship space (with others), work space, travel space, home space, school space, sleep space, and more. When first learning about any of these spaces, you took your time to get familiar with them. For example going on a date, showing up for a new job, traveling to a new place, having a new pet, enrolling into a university, etc. You took the time to get navigate it. After you got the hang of the new space, it was easy to just do it.  You didn’t think twice about it. Then all these spaces start to blend together, quickly! I remember my co-workers discussing their family at work and it didn’t take long to figure out that work was discussed at home! There were times I witnessed a sort’s of a build-up of stress while trying to cope. It affected their home and work life. The answer was to find a way to reset life and find space once again. I saw many drawn to changing relationships, jobs, and home to reset their life and start over. All I could do was breathe, center and be in my own space as a confused boss worked through an employee quitting. There is no right or wrong way to be.

The most important space of all is the self-relationship space. The self-relationship space is one we take for granted and with being as creative as we are, it is helpful to pay attention to self-care. All the spaces can blend together and one can get lost and wonder where they belong. What direction shall one take? How did my inner boundaries vanish? It’s easy to forget we created all these spaces to begin with! Taking a moment to tune into your self is easy and worth it. Our bodies like to do more than just eat and sleep. They like to relax and want to know you got them!  In those moments of inner self-care, insight and trust have the opportunity to flow.

As a next step, what if you were to take two minutes to go within and breathe before you left home and got in your car or on the train? Once having landed at the airport have a moment with yourself before gearing up for the next destination. You could even take a deep breath when you park your car upon returning home. If you are a student, it wouldn’t hurt to take a deep breath and gather up soon as you enter your home. In addition a deep breath and coming within can help stand your ground during peer pressure. When emotional, take a minute to breathe and bring yourself back to you before addressing a buildup of energy with the people you love. Have your space and start over. Mentally, pat yourself on the back OFTEN as it will make it easier to celebrate yourself. Recognition of space, especially yours, can grow and self-care takes on a new meaning.

Here are some encouraging ways to validate your space.

Bubble baths, salt baths, aromatherapy are great ways to come back to yourself.

Parents, do you have a stressed out child? A bath really helps them reconnect with themselves while you listen to music.

If you are the boss, taking time to step back and checking in to see how you are doing can change the work environment for everyone.

Schedule a massage once a month.

With your eyes closed and your attention inward, postulate having a day of ease and let your body sense what that would feel like.

Allowing others to have their space means more for you.

Pick an activity that helps you give back to yourself (cook, paint, nap, walk in nature, knit, curl up with a good book).

January 2024 Evanston Living (BVM)

Being Free

(in print)

As we formally enter a time of working together we are letting go of a reality each person being in it for him/herself to survive or excel. The other side of the dichotomy is doing or living for others. Very simply, everyone gets to move forward and do what they can for the greatest good of all and thrive on beautiful Earth.  It is not complicated. There is a growing awareness of treating others with kindness. Being free to bring this aspect of you to the surface is needed to consciously reimagine the vision of your world. And of course that has to coexist in harmony with the bigger picture that everyone is free to do that also.

As you wonder about your part in it all, imagine that each snowflake is unique and together all snowflakes create a pristine and beautiful array of a winter scene.  You and your energy field (aura) that sits around you, is also unique and nothing like anybody else’s. When someone walks by you, they get a sense of who you are on a surface level.  Sound familiar? For when you walk past someone, you too get an awareness of what they may be going through. The ‘aura’ (field of energy that exists around all living things) can be felt and is part of one’s personal space. So a bunch of aura’s can blend together and pick up all kinds of things on an energy level. The aura is responsive to your own and other’s communication. It is not uncommon to ‘feel’ others emotions for a duration of time. We are all connected yet have our own inner and outer space to experience our own uniqueness.

 Now think of the larger world where everyone crosses paths with each other and how that experience helps us grow. On a smaller scale when a group of people come together out of which one person is really happy, their happiness may uplift the rest. In a different group when someone who is really sad can somehow get the rest to ‘match’ them so all can relate. That person has the chance to step out of sadness into a better place. Then you may have someone really upset and it will trigger others and you know how that could go! Depending on the sensitivity of the rest, you may have a wild fire. That is not fun. In a society that has freedom to express emotions, we can all make a conscious and sincere attempt to learn the difference between fueling positivity versus negativity.

To make a difference in the world you live in, the journey becomes “what quality of energy do you want to live in from inside out” The lighter qualities such as joy, love and amusement are possible to cultivate even as heavier feelings exist. Even as you look around and wonder what your life holds to be happy about, know that it exists.  For all those that have found renewal, you get to be a shining guidance just by being authentic.  Being free to make a lighter vibe in your reality is what we are all called to do this year and the next!

Are you free to let go of the past and create a new life?  If so, you can start now. Do the following experiment by looking through the lens that Life is a teaching.

May you be free to create the life you want!

December 2023 Evanston Living (BVM)

True You

(in print)

The realization that we are the creator of our reality is unique to each person and it is timed differently for everyone. Now more so than ever, there is a fresh canvas for what our heart truly desires. There is a awakening to - who am I, truly and what can I do to support and express that? It was not always like this! There were other things to consider and perhaps our mind body spirit connection was not where it needed to be to ‘indulge’ in how do I want that latte to taste? Okay, so that is now a reality because the first thing in the morning many find their way effortlessly to a local coffee spot to get that cup of whatever so they can get to other things.

Sociologists would say we are shaped by our ‘environment’ and psychologists would say we are shaped by our ‘mind’ and a mathematically inclined person may say everything is geometrically designed. An astrologer will look at time and place of one’s  birth for characteristic traits and lessons, and all of the above can sit in our psyche.  Isn’t it great that there are so many ways to understand who we are? Now and then we will run across our parents reminding us – “I gave birth and raised you.” And very simply, it is a reminder of the knowledge they instilled in us so we can tie our shoelaces, comb our hair and perceive the world as they did and do. And yet their time was very different from now.

 The pace of inner time is a lot quicker now than ever. What we want we get. What we once knew is already in the past. We are left to move forward and be free.  On moving on, it helps to know who you are which happens to have a close relationship to your heart’s desire. Being present to your intuition will be very helpful to navigate life in unfamiliar times. Your intuition includes your inner voice, feelings, knowing and acknowledging the envisioning guidance that flows from within and it can even be abstract.  It is like desiring a hot cup of chai and knowing exactly where to get it and how it will make you feel. All the senses play into it. Navigating the bigger picture works the same way and the having your certainty is key.  You have to start somewhere and that somewhere is in the present moment.

As 2023 comes to an end, you have an excellent opportunity to create a new year which is like the big picture.  It is like a fresh canvas and ready for you to think outside the ‘box’ of this year. 

May you dream fearlessly!